[TRANS] 100911 SMTown Live in Shanghai Fan Account 1

No JYJ vs HoMin fan wars please.

Upon entering the stadium on September 11th, my eyes vision was flooded by a sea of red. Cassiopeia had united once again for one sole purpose, to prove to the world our true capability. To tell a certain company that we will not neglect the two remaining members even if the other three are missing.

Regardless of how glamorous and happy my beloved Junsu may seem, 'W' told us otherwise. Despite wanting to let go and to forget about the two remaining members, seeing reports on SMTown in Seoul changed my mind. It was pure unfairness and I'm sure Junsu wouldn't have wanted to hear that the two were being neglected in that way, and that there is the reason why I decided to go to SMTown: to cheer on HoMin in the place of JYJ so that they'll realize and understand how determined we Cassiopeia are.

I was really enthusiastic at the beginning, watching Super Junior's outstanding performances and marveling at SNSD's loyal fanboys. One hour, two hours, three hours…. Time slowly dragged on, SHINee sang one song after another, and Super Junior seemed to be the focal point of the concert. Even after Zhou Mi's solo, there was still no sign of the two. In the three hours, all we'd seen of HoMin was a flash up on the big screen.

When Yunho started to ascend, suspended by his wires, the pent up emotions in me erupted. As they flew past me, I felt as though I'd gone back in time to Mirotic in Nanjing on April 4th 2009. I thought I was seeing the five of them together.

I waved my red glowstick with everything in me, screaming the fan chants to Mirotic as loudly as I could. It was exactly as it was back then, it was as though the others had never left~~~

'Hello everyone, we are Dong Bang Shin Ki' It was the same introduction, the introduction we'd all become accustomed to, yet hearing it today had me confused, it felt different. Everything flashed before my eyes like the scenes in a movie and I realized that I was at a loss for words. I kept waving my glowstick soundlessly, and then I heard Changmin say 'Changmin, Yunho, us, happy!!!' in broken Chinese. They felt the same way we did, they were on the same roller coaster ride of emotions. That was it, they finished their greetings and went backstage~

HoMin's performance was followed by Changmin's solo. His stage put me in awe, I'd never realized what a star he was, he'd always been overshadowed by his hyungs. Oh boy, you've really grown, your singing is getting better and better~~~ You shocked the world with your 45-second high note and told us how much you wanted to sing and how much you loved it. You used every fibre in your being to sing to us. Tears began to stream down my face then~~ Min ah~~ Noona knows~~We understand that you're suffering but there's nothing we can do besides supporting you the way we are doing now. Right now, there's nothing I can do but cry for you and with you.

In the group performance at the end, I searched endlessly for Changmin. I didn't want to see the sadness in his eyes, I didn't want to see his grief, yet the big screen managed to capture him in full clarity. He had his head buried in his hand and his shoulders were shaking, just as they were the last time our boys stood on the MKMF stage as five. He'd lost control and he was crying. Back then, we didn't understand why, my friends and I were completely astonished that you'd do that, but now we get it. We realize that you'd acted that way because of the impending separation. You were helpless, you were in pain, and you needed a way of releasing those emotions. Every single member of Cassiopeia broke down with you as they wailed your name and screamed for you to stay strong. Luckily, someone saw you crying before it was too late and drenched you with a bucket of water to conceal your despair and to protect you. We were watching as you wiped away your tears and gave us your brightest smile. It only made us cry harder. I felt numb You, Changmin, you've grown up… and not just physically… you've even learnt to smile through tears~~~

Cassiopeia refused to leave even as the lights were switched on to signal the end of the concert. We held up our 'Stand By U' banners and continued to scream… miduhyo~

No one will understand what 'Dong Bang Shin Ki' means to us, no one will understand the connection between us and our boys. It's a relationship that cannot be adequately described in words. When we finally left, I heard a girl behind me say 'Cassiopeia cries all the time…' Yes, we do, because our boys aren't just our idols, they're a part of our lives, a part of our lives that we cannot be deprived of. It's like the feeling of first love, you'll only ever experience it once. Only once.

I haven't been able to calm myself down since I got back...

Credits: TVXQBaidu

Trans by: dorfehh@DBSKnights

Shared by: DBSKnights + DBSGuardians Angels