[TRANS] 100719 Letter from Chinese fan Part 2

It's hard translating this whilst holding back the tears...

If you haven't read it already, here's Part 1

Whenever I feel my heart ache, I know that he has already lived through that pain.

Whenever I worry, I know that he's been troubled by the same things.

By the time I see him, his wounds will have been tended to,

and when I cry, he will already have gotten up to stand before me, all by himself.

Perhaps there's nothing left that I can do for you,

but I know, I know that I can wait, I can wait for the best possible ending.

As long as I can see you, I'll be content.

Even if you never learn of my existence, I am not and will never be afraid.

The only thing that could scare me is not knowing you and not seeing you.

As long as I am part of this red ocean, I'll be content.

The people around me tell me that falling in love with Dong Bang Shin Ki is the most unusual thing I've ever done,

but I know, I know that throughout the past four years, nothing has been the result of impulse or mere lust…

For so long, I've feigned indifference… until I met Jaejoong...

He made me realize that I am not the type to let go easily

10 years from now, I think I'll probably still think of you the way I do now.

Jae, I love you, yet I know this is not love.

I want to look on from afar and see that you're good and well, that you're living your life and I'm living mine.

Yet I feel as though you're close to me.

When I'm alone and hurting, you put a smile to my face.

Jae, like every other Cassiopeia out there, all I want is to be close to you, even if it is the wildest of dreams.

Last year, on the 26th of December, I told myself I could never fall in love with another stranger the way I have with you.

I know the day will come, when you'll inevitably leave me, but I hope that all will be well.

You and I, very far on from now, when all else fades, we'll still remember one another, we'll remember those that we loved and those that we so stubbornly held on to.

Thank God for letting me love you, for letting me watch you from a distance and for letting me protect you.

I love you for who you are, when all those around you allow themselves to be treated as empty puppets, you held your own.

It wasn't love at first sight,

in the time I've known you, I've been drawn towards you by your aura, your voice, your tattoos, your birthmark, your back, your smile, your cuteness and even your Vick…

I'm sorry that I've yet to breathe the air around you…

I know I'm not a good person,

because I've got a drug addiction,

I'm addicted to you and I won't let anyone or anything come in between us.

Regardless of the state you're in today, I will pray for you, even if the consequence is my own loneliness…

I was so ready for the sadness that I knew would envelope me, yet there are so many people with me right now that I no longer feel the sorrow

All of that misery had become our motivation to move forward,

I'm not here to make you all cry,

I'm here to tell you all that somewhere in this world, there are people who understand you, people who will sympathize and people who will be with you along the way to make things better.

Jaejoong, your voice is God's gift,

no matter how much you drink, you have a voice as pure as water,

and it's etched the words 'Always Keep the Faith' into my soul.

I've noticed that whenever I'm in pain, the sight of you numbs the grief.

If I'd known I'd love you this way,

I would've fallen in love with you at first sight…

I didn't think these things happened… falling so hard for someone in a split second…

Tell me Jaejoong, how much have you actually slept in the past 6 years?

I need to know that your every smile is out of pure happiness, and not because you have no other choice…

I don't want my every 'for you' to be a burden that weighs you down infinitely,

I could tell you, Jaejoong, that I can survive without you,

but I'd be lying.

If only I could help bear the burden,

you've given us so much joy,

but then you turn around and shoulder all the pain.

This time around, as long as it's your decision, I will support you, no matter what it costs me.

I know it's not easy for you, and that is why I will heal as soon as possible so that I can provide you with strength, so that you can continue to pursue your dream.

When I say "I", I mean 'we', because I cannot do this on my own. He wont' hear it.

I'll keep faith in you;

when you turn around, I won't ask you to come back,

but when you do return, I'll be here waiting…

We truly did walk down this path together…
Perhaps it's because I'm still part of it… right now I don't consider this to be a form of sacrifice
Maybe one day, when we're able to extricate ourselves, we'll look back and remember that we once loved you more than life itself.

I hope that some day in the future,
when someone asks how I feel about you, I'll be able to say that I'm still fiercely in love.

Why do I like you?
I don't even know.
I think it's the same for most other people… or maybe it's just because you're Kim Jaejoong. And that's all there is.

Credits: uknow紫涩@TVXQBaidu

Trans by: dorfehh@DBSKnights

Shared by: DBSKnights